1 00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:09,313 This is a stickup. Everybody down on the ground. 2 00:00:09,356 --> 00:00:11,489 Just stay on the floor, and nobody gets hurt. 3 00:00:11,532 --> 00:00:13,534 Hurry up before - the pigs get here. - Be cool. 4 00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:14,883 Why are you doing this? 5 00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,929 Because banks are a bummer, man. 6 00:00:16,972 --> 00:00:18,844 This mask is so hot. 7 00:00:18,887 --> 00:00:20,889 Ah, it's like my hair was sweating. 8 00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:23,066 Flower, put your mask back on. 9 00:00:23,109 --> 00:00:24,458 Don't use my real name. 10 00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,634 That's not your real name. 11 00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,854 Oh, right, it's Susan. 12 00:00:28,897 --> 00:00:30,334 Let's get out of here. 13 00:00:30,377 --> 00:00:32,814 G-Go, go, go! 14 00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,686 Bye. 15 00:00:39,734 --> 00:00:41,519 Babe? 16 00:00:41,562 --> 00:00:42,955 Sam? 17 00:00:42,998 --> 00:00:45,914 Hey. I got you your favorite. 18 00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:48,613 Oh, Daisy's Coffee Shop. I love this place. Thanks, babe. 19 00:00:48,656 --> 00:00:50,571 That is an americano for my booboo, 20 00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:53,618 and a perfectly normal adult caffeinated beverage for me. 21 00:00:53,661 --> 00:00:56,273 This is not a man who's destined to keep it tight, Sam. 22 00:00:56,316 --> 00:00:57,839 What are you working on? 23 00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,798 Well, I'm trying to come up with article ideas for my meeting 24 00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:01,408 at The Ulster County Review tomorrow. 25 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,280 The New Yorker of the Hudson Valley? 26 00:01:03,323 --> 00:01:05,151 That's a big opportunity. 27 00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:06,935 Yeah, this is the kind of serious journalism 28 00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:08,372 I've always wanted to do, 29 00:01:08,415 --> 00:01:11,026 and if it goes well, it could turn into a regular gig. 30 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,289 You're gonna kill it, babe. 31 00:01:12,332 --> 00:01:13,986 All right, I'll leave you to it. 32 00:01:14,029 --> 00:01:17,250 Mmm. Yum. 33 00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:18,730 Mmm. Mm. 34 00:01:18,773 --> 00:01:21,036 I can't watch a man do this to himself. 35 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,168 I'm okay with it. 36 00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:24,127 Love you, babe. - Ooh, wait. 37 00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:26,129 I've got an article idea for you. 38 00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:28,653 What about a profile of a local celebrity? 39 00:01:28,696 --> 00:01:29,871 Ooh, like who? 40 00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:31,177 I'm right here. 41 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,092 You said you wanted a good story, 42 00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,311 I'm a good story. 43 00:01:34,354 --> 00:01:35,964 Oh, I got a story. 44 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,792 Did I ever tell you guys about the time I robbed a bank? 45 00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:40,882 Only once a week for the last 50 years. 46 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,232 Wait, you robbed a bank? 47 00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:44,669 Flower's hippie cult knocked off a bank, 48 00:01:44,712 --> 00:01:46,236 then gave the money to poor people. 49 00:01:46,279 --> 00:01:48,020 This was the commune, not the cult. 50 00:01:48,063 --> 00:01:50,370 They're very similar, but the commune let you wear your shoes 51 00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:51,893 and you could still talk to your family. 52 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:54,244 A Robin Hood hippie bank robbery? That's amazing. 53 00:01:54,287 --> 00:01:56,071 This should be the article I write. 54 00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:57,812 Article? What's she talking about? 55 00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,205 Oh, it's for a local magazine. 56 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,120 This is exactly the kind of thing they'd love. 57 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,556 Quirky, human interest. 58 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,602 Well you-you can't write about it. I'm sorry. 59 00:02:04,645 --> 00:02:05,472 What? 60 00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:06,908 Flower, this would be, like, 61 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:08,693 the biggest assignment I've ever landed. 62 00:02:08,736 --> 00:02:09,998 They made me take an eternal blood oath 63 00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,043 to never talk about it. 64 00:02:11,086 --> 00:02:12,523 Oh, totally not a cult. 65 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,655 Flower, you told us about it a million times. 66 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:17,136 Well, that's different than publishing it in a magazine. 67 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,137 But, Flower, it would just be... 68 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,225 I said no! 69 00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:24,535 So... I guess we're back to Alberta. 70 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,101 Hold up. 71 00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:28,582 "Back to Alberta." 72 00:02:29,844 --> 00:02:32,151 I think we just found our title. 73 00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,636 So, what do we think? 74 00:02:38,679 --> 00:02:41,116 I'm gonna say just moved from the city, Ivy League. 75 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,075 Close. Northwestern. 76 00:02:43,118 --> 00:02:44,381 You can see us? 77 00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:45,686 It's kind of a long story. 78 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,166 I had this near-death experience, 79 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,820 and now I see ghosts. 80 00:02:48,863 --> 00:02:50,996 I guess that's not such a long story. 81 00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:53,825 Name's Winky. Age 12 when I kicked the bucket. 82 00:02:53,868 --> 00:02:56,915 Headline? I got trampled by a horse. 83 00:02:56,958 --> 00:03:00,745 I'm Shiki. I'm Lenape, and I've been here since the 1500s. 84 00:03:00,788 --> 00:03:02,529 Lenape? 85 00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:04,009 I actually know a... 86 00:03:04,052 --> 00:03:05,228 Who are you talking to? 87 00:03:05,271 --> 00:03:06,664 I... 88 00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,492 I-I was, uh, just practicing for our meeting. 89 00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:12,278 I was saying I actually know some stories to pitch you. 90 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,846 Let me just, uh, check these out. Okay. 91 00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:16,587 Oh. Oh, okay, that... works. 92 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,285 Okay. Oof, no. No. 93 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:22,636 Did that. That's too obvious. What's this in the margin here? 94 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,377 Gummy bears? Was there a listeria outbreak 95 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:25,422 in the plant or something? 96 00:03:25,465 --> 00:03:26,988 No, my husband wrote that. 97 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,512 He wanted me to pick up gummy bears while I was in town 98 00:03:28,555 --> 00:03:31,428 because we ran out, and he likes gummy bears. 99 00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:34,605 Look, there's some good ideas in there, 100 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,129 but if I'm gonna hire a freelancer, 101 00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:38,348 I really need to be wowed, 102 00:03:38,391 --> 00:03:40,306 so unless you can do that, 103 00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,003 I'm gonna have to say, "Nice to meet you, 104 00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:44,789 and I'm sorry." 105 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,445 Wait, what if I told you that I had a lead on a story 106 00:03:48,488 --> 00:03:50,142 about a group of hippies who held up 107 00:03:50,185 --> 00:03:51,361 Hudson Valley Citizens Bank 108 00:03:51,404 --> 00:03:52,753 in the 1960s and were never caught? 109 00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,451 I'm interested. Who's your source? 110 00:03:54,494 --> 00:03:55,539 - Can you bring them in? - No. 111 00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:57,584 Uh, only I can see them. 112 00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,064 Give me 6,000 words by Tuesday. 113 00:03:59,107 --> 00:04:02,241 Sold. A hippie bank robbery? 114 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,764 You should've led with that one, kid. 115 00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:12,295 Hey, babe. 116 00:04:12,338 --> 00:04:13,992 So, how'd it go? 117 00:04:14,035 --> 00:04:16,864 - Well, he bought one of my ideas. - That's great. 118 00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:19,214 We're gonna celebrate tonight with gummy bears, 119 00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,956 which you left in the car, he said hopefully? 120 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,001 So... 121 00:04:23,044 --> 00:04:24,611 which article did he buy? 122 00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,004 Look, you can't tell Flower. 123 00:04:26,047 --> 00:04:27,353 I literally can't see Flower. 124 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,268 Oh, I was talking to Alberta and Isaac. 125 00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,487 They were already in here with you. 126 00:04:30,530 --> 00:04:31,879 That's not creepy at all. 127 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,359 I panicked, and I pitched the story 128 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,100 about Flower's commune robbing the bank. 129 00:04:35,143 --> 00:04:36,362 The editor flipped for it. 130 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,407 That's great. Yes! Bravo! 131 00:04:37,450 --> 00:04:38,973 No, it's terrible. 132 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,106 Flower explicitly told me not to write about it. 133 00:04:41,149 --> 00:04:42,673 Okay, well, she's not gonna know. 134 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,370 Come on, babe, this is your dream gig. 135 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,546 I know, and now that they bought it, 136 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,374 it's not like I can go back there saying, 137 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,463 "Whoop, never mind." They'll never want to work with me. 138 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:53,031 Plus, this whole thing makes no sense. 139 00:04:53,074 --> 00:04:54,946 For years, she's bragged about it. 140 00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:57,122 Now, suddenly, she doesn't want the whole world to know. 141 00:04:57,165 --> 00:04:59,167 Mm. That girl is hiding something, 142 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,431 and if she's hiding something, it's probably juicy, 143 00:05:01,474 --> 00:05:04,216 and if it's juicy, I'm gonna need to know it. 144 00:05:04,259 --> 00:05:07,001 Mm, Sam, you must write this article. 145 00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:09,003 But Flower's my only source, and I can't even interview her. 146 00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:10,962 So just have the ghosts do it. 147 00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:14,313 Yes. Yes. His mind is as sharp as his jawline. 148 00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:16,707 And with questions woven into conversation 149 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,317 by her trusted ghost friends, 150 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,754 she will be completely unaware. 151 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,321 You think that'll work? 152 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,758 The girl was staring at a shadow for four hours yesterday, 153 00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:26,760 so yeah, I think we can outfox her. 154 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,809 Hey, babe, I... 155 00:05:31,852 --> 00:05:34,638 No one's gonna tell me how that conversation ended? 156 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,689 Oh, great, there you are, Sasappis. 157 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,778 Uh, seriously? Can I get a roll call, please? 158 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:47,172 Sure. Sasappis, Pete, Trevor. 159 00:05:47,215 --> 00:05:48,956 That's never not gonna be weird. 160 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,480 I ran into this Lenape ghost 161 00:05:50,523 --> 00:05:51,785 who died around the same time as you, 162 00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,004 and I was wondering if you knew her. 163 00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:54,266 Her name was Shiki. 164 00:05:54,309 --> 00:05:56,007 Shiki? What? Are you serious? 165 00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:58,792 Did you just ask if two Lenape people knew each other? 166 00:05:58,836 --> 00:05:59,967 She was the love of my life. 167 00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,447 That's like me asking you 168 00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,101 if you know another white lady from Ohio. 169 00:06:03,144 --> 00:06:05,103 Shh. He knew her. They were in love. 170 00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:06,539 Well, I was in love with her, 171 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,454 and I thought she was in love with me, 172 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,413 so I killed a deer, and brought it to her family. 173 00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:12,458 - Sure. - And then I never heard from her again. 174 00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:13,633 Oh, my God. 175 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,635 - What? What happened? - She ghosted him. 176 00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,202 What? Excuse me? Hey, what's that supposed to mean? 177 00:06:17,245 --> 00:06:18,508 I'm guessing 178 00:06:18,551 --> 00:06:20,118 they did not like the ghosted thing. 179 00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:22,512 Oh, no, no, no. Ghosting is what people say 180 00:06:22,555 --> 00:06:24,035 when you're dating someone, and they just kind of vanish. 181 00:06:24,078 --> 00:06:26,341 Is the point that ghosts have no manners? 182 00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:27,952 Walk me through this. 183 00:06:27,995 --> 00:06:30,084 Who knows what was going on for Shiki 500 years ago. 184 00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,521 The point is she could be in 185 00:06:31,564 --> 00:06:32,739 a completely different headspace now. 186 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,828 I think you should reach out. 187 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,090 I can pass on a message. 188 00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:37,483 Uh, okay, yeah. 189 00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:39,354 Uh, how about,"Shiki, 190 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,487 "not a day has passed since we parted 191 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,228 "that I haven't thought of you. 192 00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:45,273 You are the love of my life."Whoa, whoa, whoa. 193 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,232 That's coming on way too strong. 194 00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:48,494 What's the difference? They're ghosts, 195 00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:49,887 and they can't even be in the same place. 196 00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,584 But they could be, one day, right? 197 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:54,326 I mean, you guys do, eventually, go up, right? 198 00:06:54,369 --> 00:06:56,589 - Get sucked off, right. Yes, in theory, they could. 199 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,679 Yeah, so he's got to play this right, and I can help. 200 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,551 I mean, this is basically texting, 201 00:07:01,594 --> 00:07:03,291 and who's better at texting than your hubs? 202 00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,380 Texting was just catching on when I died. 203 00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:07,252 I would've loved to work with the medium more. 204 00:07:07,295 --> 00:07:09,297 Sasappis, you should just say what you want to say. 205 00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:12,257 Women value honesty and romance, not games. 206 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,694 That's so cute. 207 00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,130 When I first met you, I wanted to text you 208 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,654 every two minutes, 209 00:07:17,697 --> 00:07:19,220 but I didn't do that, you want to know why? 210 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:20,787 Because it would've scared you off. 211 00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,528 Okay, listen to this man, Sass. 212 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,791 I'm not saying this is a Lyle Lovett, Julia Roberts situation, 213 00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:25,923 but he did well for himself. 214 00:07:26,532 --> 00:07:28,055 You know what my dating strategy is? 215 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,404 I like to get myself 216 00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,319 in something I call "the friendzone." 217 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:33,800 Now, nine out of ten times you end up completely desexualized, 218 00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,541 as if you're a puppy or their brother, 219 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:36,803 but, at the end of the day, 220 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,849 you got a new friend, so win-win, right? 221 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,720 Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with Jay on this one. 222 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,984 Fine. Jay, Sasappis wants to know what he should say. 223 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,073 Okay, first of all, delete that corny mess 224 00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:49,424 and repeat after me, "'Sup," apostrophe, 225 00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:52,253 S-U-P. End it with a period. 226 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,212 It is a question, but we don't care enough 227 00:07:54,255 --> 00:07:55,561 to put a question mark,do we? 228 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,520 - Sup. - Oh, this guy's good. 229 00:07:57,563 --> 00:07:59,217 I am ready to be Miyagi'd. 230 00:08:02,437 --> 00:08:04,178 Oh, hello, Flower. 231 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,964 Just popping in for a casual chat amongst close friends. 232 00:08:07,007 --> 00:08:08,531 Oh, hey, guys. 233 00:08:08,574 --> 00:08:09,532 You know what I thought was awesome, Isaac? 234 00:08:09,575 --> 00:08:11,098 Oh, what's that, Alberta? 235 00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:12,404 How my girl, Flower, here 236 00:08:12,447 --> 00:08:14,232 stood up to Sam about the bank robbery. 237 00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:15,712 That's not Sam's storyto tell, 238 00:08:15,755 --> 00:08:16,843 that's Flower's thing. 239 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,584 Agreed. 240 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,630 Although, I'm curious 241 00:08:20,673 --> 00:08:22,588 as to why you didn't want her to write the story. 242 00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:26,070 Considering how freely you bless us with retellings of it. 243 00:08:26,113 --> 00:08:27,767 Well, just between us? 244 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:28,986 Obviously. 245 00:08:29,029 --> 00:08:30,901 There's just a part of the story 246 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,598 I'm not ready to tell. 247 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,382 Mm, that's all you need to say. Mm-hmm. 248 00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,734 Although, I'm worried that Sam, conniving Living that she is, 249 00:08:37,777 --> 00:08:39,344 will find some way to trick you 250 00:08:39,387 --> 00:08:40,737 into telling her your dark secret. 251 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,956 - Do you think? - It's a risk, though... 252 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,610 Here's a thought, 253 00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:46,525 what if you were tell us your deep, dark secret, 254 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:49,180 so we can help steer Sam as far away from it as possible? 255 00:08:49,223 --> 00:08:53,010 Wait, why are you guys asking me so many questions about myself? 256 00:08:53,053 --> 00:08:55,099 What? Uh, it's perfectly consistent 257 00:08:55,142 --> 00:08:56,796 with our personalities to want to know more 258 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,102 about our good old friend, Flower. 259 00:08:58,145 --> 00:09:00,757 Well, if we're such good friends, 260 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,062 what's my last name? 261 00:09:10,157 --> 00:09:12,638 - It's Montero. - Montero! 262 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,640 I knew that. - I remember that. - Mm-hmm. 263 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,642 Okay. So, here's what I want to know, 264 00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:19,819 since you guys are acting all suspicious and stuff... 265 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,390 Oh, my God. Is she still with us? 266 00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:26,739 - What's going on? - Hard to say. 267 00:09:29,263 --> 00:09:31,048 Wait, what-what were we just talking about? 268 00:09:31,091 --> 00:09:32,223 It was important, wasn't it? 269 00:09:32,266 --> 00:09:33,964 You know, I don't really recall. 270 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,880 - Oh, wait, was it love? - Sure. 271 00:09:36,923 --> 00:09:38,316 Oh, I love love. 272 00:09:38,359 --> 00:09:39,796 I also hate tomatoes, 273 00:09:39,839 --> 00:09:41,928 and those are a couple of things about me. 274 00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,277 - Good to know. - Uh, yes. 275 00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,627 I am glad we got to the bottom of that. 276 00:09:48,369 --> 00:09:51,677 Hey. I gave Shiki the message. 277 00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:52,983 It wasn't easy. 278 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,724 The editor was very curious 279 00:09:54,767 --> 00:09:56,421 as to why I just showed up with no appointment. 280 00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:57,814 Uh, you're back. 281 00:09:57,857 --> 00:10:00,033 Hey. Can I help you? 282 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,731 Uh, I just stopped by to let you know 283 00:10:01,774 --> 00:10:03,689 how things were going with the article. 284 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,082 Okay. 285 00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:07,475 Right, uh, so I dropped by the bank, 286 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,477 and they're putting me in touch with a woman 287 00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:11,305 who was a young teller at the time, 288 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,526 so I'm gonna give her a call, and that is where we're at. 289 00:10:14,569 --> 00:10:16,006 Okay, that's it, yeah. 290 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,529 Uh, feels like this could've been an email 291 00:10:17,572 --> 00:10:20,140 - or a non-share, really. - Mm. 292 00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:22,099 So, what did she say? - Did you read her the message? 293 00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:23,666 Yes, I did. 294 00:10:23,709 --> 00:10:25,189 I read the message that you guys workshopped, 295 00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:27,713 and let me say again, I was not a fan of it. 296 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:30,760 "Sup. Cool you're still around, Shiki. 297 00:10:30,803 --> 00:10:33,501 Would love to hear the haps sometime. Maybe." 298 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:39,029 That's-that's it. That's all he said. 299 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,378 "Sup"? 300 00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:42,597 And? And... 301 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,991 she had a response. 302 00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,253 "Hey." 303 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:49,387 -"Hey"? That's it? - Oh, she's good. 304 00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:51,476 What? How is that good? What do we do now? 305 00:10:51,519 --> 00:10:53,347 Sasappis is freaking out, which makes sense 306 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,175 because, clearly, that was terrible advice. 307 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,655 No, no, no, no, no. 308 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,005 If she's playing the game, that means she's interested. 309 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,486 All we have to do now is craft the perfect reply. 310 00:11:01,529 --> 00:11:03,314 Good news is we have a week to do it, 311 00:11:03,357 --> 00:11:05,011 anything sooner than that is just thirsty. 312 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,621 I am so out of my element 313 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:07,884 with this written communication thing. 314 00:11:07,927 --> 00:11:09,929 Funny guys must clean up these days. 315 00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:12,192 I'd be friendzoning everybody, hard. 316 00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:17,545 Good news, Samantha. We found out 317 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,852 that Flower has a deep dark secret about the robbery. 318 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,506 Oh, amazing. What is it? 319 00:11:21,549 --> 00:11:24,117 No, no, that's it. We just found out she has one. 320 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,815 Is that enough to go off? 321 00:11:25,858 --> 00:11:27,338 Now let's talk byline. 322 00:11:27,381 --> 00:11:29,340 Alberta and I are fine if your name comes first, 323 00:11:29,383 --> 00:11:30,950 since you'll be doing most of the typing. 324 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,343 However... 325 00:11:32,386 --> 00:11:34,214 Okay, just had a pretty intense acid flashback, 326 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,390 but I remember before that, you guys were asking me 327 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,131 a bunch of questions about the robbery. 328 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:40,177 Why were you doing that? 329 00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:43,136 Because... we're interested in your life, Flower. 330 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,791 And now you're talking to Sam, who wanted to write the article 331 00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,054 about me before... Oh, my God, 332 00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:49,795 she's piecing it together in real time. 333 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,189 Nobody move. She has one plus one, but I'm not confident 334 00:11:52,232 --> 00:11:53,668 she realizes it makes two. 335 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:56,019 This is ridiculous. Flower, I'm sorry. 336 00:11:56,062 --> 00:11:57,672 The editor didn't like my other ideas, 337 00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:59,718 and I was desperate, so I pitched your story. 338 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:03,069 - Whoa. Not groovy, Sam. - I know. 339 00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,592 It was wrong, but I still 340 00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,072 don't get why you don't want the article. 341 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,552 Yeah, what are you hiding, Flower? 342 00:12:07,595 --> 00:12:08,901 Yes, just tell us, Flower. 343 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,903 Why are you so afraid to share 344 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,731 that which you claim to be the most proud of? 345 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:15,299 Because I'm not proud of it, okay? 346 00:12:15,342 --> 00:12:17,083 The money never went to any good cause. 347 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,389 The commune never donated it. 348 00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:19,912 What? Why not? 349 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,741 Because before they could give it away, I stole it. 350 00:12:26,005 --> 00:12:28,094 Really? No one else gasped? 351 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:29,704 Well, I guess if you're not gasping at that, 352 00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:31,358 you're simply not a gasper. 353 00:12:36,363 --> 00:12:38,801 After the bank robbery, the commune spent weeks debating 354 00:12:38,844 --> 00:12:41,064 what to do with the money. 355 00:12:41,107 --> 00:12:42,630 Seven... 356 00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:43,893 Eight... 357 00:12:43,936 --> 00:12:45,546 And... all right, 358 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:49,942 so that's nine for helping out the feral cats of Costa Rica. 359 00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:52,205 And one for narwhals. 360 00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,425 Damn it, Brenda. It has to be unanimous. 361 00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:56,079 - I'm not changing my vote. Look, 362 00:12:56,122 --> 00:12:58,211 Brenda, the feral cats of Costa Rica 363 00:12:58,255 --> 00:13:00,474 live in awful conditions. 364 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:03,826 They sleep in the dirt. 365 00:13:03,869 --> 00:13:06,785 They-they have no escape from the elements. 366 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,092 They eat out of the garbage. 367 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,747 I have an idea. 368 00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:16,926 What if we used the money to help people in need. 369 00:13:16,969 --> 00:13:19,493 Like, specifically, us. 370 00:13:21,974 --> 00:13:23,062 No, guys, 371 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,368 the narwhals need us. 372 00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:27,110 No, feral cats, Brenda, come on. 373 00:13:27,153 --> 00:13:30,113 So, then Ira and I took the money and bolted, 374 00:13:30,156 --> 00:13:31,854 and then I got attacked by a bear, 375 00:13:31,897 --> 00:13:33,943 and I've had an eternity to think about what I did. 376 00:13:33,986 --> 00:13:35,901 Well, it sounds like you just made a mistake. 377 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,425 No, Sam, I'm a fraud. 378 00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,688 I wanted to be a person who helped others, 379 00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:44,301 but I just helped myself. 380 00:13:47,608 --> 00:13:49,784 - Well, now I feel bad. - Yeah, me, too. 381 00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,830 Sam should've never written that article. 382 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,788 But you told me to. 383 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:56,226 We're dead, and just looking for exciting things 384 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,923 to happen around here to fill up the days. 385 00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,403 Why are you listening to us? 386 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,363 So... 387 00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,888 did you get a reply from Sasappis for me? 388 00:14:05,931 --> 00:14:09,500 No, they all w-- Uh, he wanted me to wait a week. 389 00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:11,937 - I don't know. - Oh. Okay. 390 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,112 I understand. 391 00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,374 Wait a minute. 392 00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:16,942 This is crazy. He's playing games. 393 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,944 And, as a woman, I know you want the truth. 394 00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,947 The truth is Sasappis loves you, and he's always loved you, 395 00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,209 and he always will love you, 396 00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,863 and I can't think of a better person 397 00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,344 for you to hopefully one day spend eternity with. 398 00:14:27,387 --> 00:14:30,521 Whoa. That's a little intense. 399 00:14:30,564 --> 00:14:32,088 - Oh, God. - Oh, no, no, no. 400 00:14:32,131 --> 00:14:34,351 It's cool, I guess. 401 00:14:34,394 --> 00:14:37,920 I-I got a thing in the, uh, copy room. 402 00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:39,878 Oh, God, wait. 403 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,227 Did you not want me to come in? 404 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,707 To my office? 405 00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:44,883 I'm sorry, I need to talk to you, Lewis. 406 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,450 I really appreciate the opportunity, 407 00:14:46,493 --> 00:14:48,843 but I can't write - the article. - Excuse me? 408 00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:51,716 I just realized it would, it would hurt a friend. 409 00:14:51,759 --> 00:14:53,936 Again, email. 410 00:14:53,979 --> 00:14:57,287 Okay, email. I get that. 411 00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,031 Knock, knock. 412 00:15:02,074 --> 00:15:04,511 I don't want to see anyone right now, Alberta. 413 00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:07,993 I just have one thing I got to tell you, 414 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,299 then I'll leave you be. 415 00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,998 I never shared the stage with Cab Calloway. 416 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,000 I know I always brag about that, 417 00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,436 but it didn't happen. 418 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,135 I did share a cab with him once. 419 00:15:19,178 --> 00:15:22,051 Nope! You know what? Ah! I'm lying again. 420 00:15:22,094 --> 00:15:23,661 I never even met the man. 421 00:15:24,705 --> 00:15:27,143 And I was never at the Boston Tea Party. 422 00:15:27,186 --> 00:15:28,753 I was in Boston 423 00:15:28,796 --> 00:15:30,015 at a tea party, 424 00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,322 but it was at my Aunt Geraldine's house. 425 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,671 It was a lovely affair. 426 00:15:33,714 --> 00:15:35,542 Why are you guys telling me this? 427 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:38,284 None of us lived up to exactly who we wanted to be. 428 00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,112 - That doesn't make you a fraud. 429 00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,288 You're the biggest do-gooder of all us ghosts. 430 00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:44,203 Granted, that's a selfish crew. 431 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,857 But you set the bar, 432 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:48,033 and you need to know that. 433 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,208 Thanks, guys. 434 00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,690 Flower, hey. 435 00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:55,562 I wanted to tell you I'm not gonna write the article, 436 00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,477 and I'm sorry I went behind your back. 437 00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:00,698 You had a moment of weakness. I know the feeling. 438 00:16:01,568 --> 00:16:03,483 Hmm, I wonder what Ira did with all that money. 439 00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:06,051 Me, too. Ira wanted to blow it all on a house, 440 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,271 and I was like, "No, we should open a business." 441 00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:10,534 You know, so we didn't have to rob any more banks. 442 00:16:10,577 --> 00:16:11,796 Oh, what kind of business? 443 00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:13,319 A fair trade coffee shop 444 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:14,886 that totally paid the bean farmers 445 00:16:14,929 --> 00:16:16,496 what they should get paid, and was, like, 446 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,890 not bad for the earth, but Ira said, 447 00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,370 "Daisy, we don't know the first thing 448 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,545 about starting a business." 449 00:16:21,588 --> 00:16:22,981 Daisy? 450 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,027 Yeah, that was Ira's nickname for me 451 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:27,072 'cause I was his special flower. 452 00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,335 Also, 'cause it's a weed and I love weed. 453 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,294 Come with me, now. 454 00:16:31,337 --> 00:16:32,599 Okay. 455 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,953 What is this? 456 00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:40,912 It's your fair trade coffee shop, Flower, 457 00:16:40,955 --> 00:16:43,001 except it's got, like, a hundred locations. 458 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,524 Someone stole my idea? 459 00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,526 Oh, she's so close to getting it. 460 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:47,745 God love her. 461 00:16:47,788 --> 00:16:50,139 Wow. Read this. 462 00:16:50,182 --> 00:16:53,968 "The founder of Daisy's Coffee Shop is Ira Klein. 463 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,709 "In memory of his late girlfriend, 464 00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:58,364 "profits go toward underprivileged communities 465 00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,887 and bear safety education." 466 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,717 Ira made my dream come true. 467 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:06,590 Now that is a good ending to your article, Sam. 468 00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:07,939 Maybe you should just write it. 469 00:17:07,982 --> 00:17:09,245 Are you sure? 470 00:17:09,288 --> 00:17:11,595 I was so worried about people, like, 471 00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:14,380 judging me for my biggest mistake, but, 472 00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,339 now I see something groovy came out of it. 473 00:17:17,818 --> 00:17:20,082 Also is anyone else seeing that color? 474 00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:21,866 Is there even a name for that? 475 00:17:21,909 --> 00:17:23,955 And the horse has left the stable. 476 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,874 Well, I have some news. 477 00:17:29,917 --> 00:17:31,832 Lewis loved the bank robbery article. 478 00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,878 Yes! 479 00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:36,446 And-and he said Daisy's Coffee Shop is even cool with it. 480 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,535 Apparently, the statute of limitations ran out, 481 00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:40,058 and they think it makes them look badass. 482 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,364 Ooh, they're not wrong. 483 00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:43,017 Best news for last, 484 00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,932 he wants me to come in next week to pitch more ideas. 485 00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,891 That's incredible. Babe, 486 00:17:46,934 --> 00:17:49,198 - I'm so proud of you. - Thank you. 487 00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:51,113 Alberta, I heard you were very helpful 488 00:17:51,156 --> 00:17:53,115 with Sam's article, which I thought should be acknowledged. 489 00:17:53,158 --> 00:17:55,160 Aw, thanks, Pete. You're a good friend. 490 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,684 Oh, friend. Wow, thank you. 491 00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,600 Hello, friendzone. I'm in. 492 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:01,688 While you are at 493 00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:05,562 the magazine, you can give Shiki 494 00:18:05,605 --> 00:18:07,172 her next message. 495 00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:08,434 Jay nailed it. 496 00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:11,698 It's, "yo yo yo." 497 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,483 The simplicity, right? 498 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,180 You know what? No. 499 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,269 No more aloof messages. I can't take the waiting. 500 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:20,316 I can't take not being honest. I'm not a games guy. 501 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:21,447 I'm looking for a woman 502 00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:22,927 who wants a dead deer on her doorstep, 503 00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:25,147 and when I find her, I'm gonna love her forever. 504 00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,844 I am so glad you said that 505 00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:29,803 because, the last time I went in, I kind of lost it, 506 00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:31,501 and I basically said exactly that. 507 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,503 What? Well, what'd she say? Did she like it? 508 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,026 Not really. 509 00:18:35,069 --> 00:18:36,810 Seriously? 510 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,029 Fix this. Jay! 511 00:18:38,072 --> 00:18:40,031 - Uh, he can't hear you. - What's he saying? 512 00:18:40,074 --> 00:18:41,989 I want the games back, please. 513 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,382 He's thanking me. 514 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,036 You ruined everything. 515 00:18:45,079 --> 00:18:46,951 You're welcome. 516 00:18:46,994 --> 00:18:50,215 Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time I robbed a bank? 517 00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:51,825 Okay. 518 00:18:57,831 --> 00:18:59,050 Okay, I mean, I get it. 519 00:18:59,093 --> 00:19:00,660 I guess people just play games, 520 00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:03,533 but I don't love that my husband is so good at it. 521 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,795 Okay. 522 00:19:04,838 --> 00:19:06,536 I've been meaning to show you this 523 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,407 for a while now. 524 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:11,497 Here. This is a screengrab of a text that I sent you 525 00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,934 exactly one minute after your cab pulled away, 526 00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,240 the night of our first date. 527 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,547 - Oh, cute. - Read it. 528 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,375 "Samcakes... is it okay 529 00:19:19,418 --> 00:19:21,159 "that I call you that? 530 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:23,248 "I feel like that'll be my nickname for you. 531 00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:26,164 I'll call you Samcakes and you'll call me Jay-bae"? 532 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,861 I know. Keep reading. 533 00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,298 "I know you're not supposed to say stuff like that, 534 00:19:29,341 --> 00:19:31,125 "and maybe I'm tipsy, but I like you. 535 00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:33,476 "Like, really like you. 536 00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:36,740 And I think you might be the one." 537 00:19:36,783 --> 00:19:38,263 Oh, I never got that text. 538 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,917 Yeah, because by some grace of God 539 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,092 it never went through. 540 00:19:42,354 --> 00:19:44,269 Okay, yeah, I would've run for the hills. 541 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,140 - Obviously. - I mean, you were psycho. 542 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:48,404 That guy's gonna crawl inside of your skin and wear you to prom. 543 00:19:48,447 --> 00:19:49,666 Okay, see? 544 00:19:49,709 --> 00:19:51,015 - Now will you help me? - Fine, Sass. 545 00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:54,279 Shiki will get a "yo yo yo" on Tuesday. 546 00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,803 I can't believe I'm using my ghost powers for this, 547 00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,502 but, I guess, if it means you two could end up together 548 00:19:59,545 --> 00:20:01,895 to do whatever it is that ghosts do... 549 00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:03,767 I was wondering about this. So, tell me, 550 00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:05,725 can ghosts actually have sex? 551 00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:08,728 We can. We just can't finish. It's very frustrating. 552 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,730 He says they can, but they can't finish. 553 00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,297 - Interesting. - Gosh, I hate to do this, 554 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,690 but I've got some work to do. 555 00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:15,735 No, no, no, no, no. Sam, first question, 556 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,302 can they take off their own clothes? 557 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,304 Sam, come back, I want to tell Jay about ghost sex.